– What the hell is my pint doing in your mouth?
– Sometimes it is worth thinking about what is *under* discussion.
– Do not try to antagonise, try to open eyes.
– I know I’m drunk but I’m sure I’m right.
– For the first read of a book you are merely reading yourself if you intend not to think on or read it further.
– For the first fuck of a woman you are merely fucking yourself, (in more ways than one) if you intend not to enter the relationship and give yourself further. Marry. Marry. Marry.
– ‘I like your face though it would look better on my cock,” is not an appropriate chat up line.
– ‘You seem to have dropped my number…(slide business card across the table), and my jaw (pop open jaw. pop!)‘ on the other hand is just fine.
– What came first the tattoo or the tattoo removal clinic? Answer- The pub.
– Help! Help! I’m *being* depressed. What a give away.